I haven't been able to write here for awhile. We've been busy with treatments and hospitalizations and Hospice and then the passing of our wonderful Mother.
I most certainly plan on adding to this blog with my memories in the future. But for today, I'd like to take the time to share some words my oldest sister wrote. So, we have a guest blogger of sorts.
I think it is very fitting that the first born of our family was the one who witnessed Momma leaving this earth. It was an unbelievably windy night that night. To be honest, Mom was really having a hard time letting go of her earthly body. Our Mother was just a fighter. It's who she was. But she also knew that Jesus had a better place for her.
So from the words of my oldest sister, Eileen Bartig, which have been edited per her approval.
Please read on...
Mom went to Heaven on Jan 20 at 1:45 am. I was with her. I had usually only stayed until 10, maybe 11pm, but that night I wanted to be there to be sure she would get her meds every 2 hours as I did not want her to go into an agitated state again. Very hard. I wanted her calm and peaceful and the nurse had told us to give her things every 2 hours to help with this. So, I was.
Around 1:00am, I looked at her and she was very grey but still breathing. So, I thought I should pull up a chair and talk to her and I was brushing her hair and then thought that might be pulling too much so I just rubbed her hair and talked to her. She used to offer us pennies as kids to "smooth her hair" she called it. She LOVED when we would just massage her hair and scalp.
It was super windy outside all night. I said something like “It’s SO windy momma, might be a good night to ride the wind to Heaven?”
And a song came to me. This happens at odd times, so to speak. I call it “The Little Voice.”
But I wasn't sure, and I most certainly didn't feel it at the time. I knew I needed to sing it though.
Anyway the song goes:
“Here comes Jesus
See Him walking on the water
He’ll raise you up
and He’ll help you to stand.
Here comes Jesus
He’s the master of the waves that role
Here comes Jesus
He’ll make you whole.”
I said something to her like, "He will take you home and He'll make you whole". Then I noticed she wasn’t breathing or moving. I tried to feel the pulse in her neck and something twitched, so I thought she was still alive. I looked again and her chest was not moving. I tried the neck again and it was still. Momma had left this earth.
I started crying just a little, not like on other days or times. Dad was awake and in the kitchen, so I waited and watched mom a little longer to make sure before I called him. I said something like, “I think mom is not breathing. I think she went Home.” Dad said, “Oh honey, oh honey!”. I could tell he was saying this to both Mom and me! He came in the room and we just hugged. He said something like “This feels easier than some other times we’ve had." I said, "Look how windy it is. Her soul is riding on the wind. She always liked those wild, windy days.”
I called the nurse and the rest of my family. I was able to start some of the preparations since I had been a Nurses' Aide years ago. My sister Maxeen and her husband Mark came over to help to clean Momma and wait for the proper people to come help us with the rest. While we waited, Maxeen and I dressed Mom in some nice silky pajamas that she liked. We knew the people who came to get her would be able to do this, but there was something about doing it together for her.
I think she would have liked that.
When I spoke to my sister Christeen later, she told me how she heard the answering machine message in the middle of the night. She told her husband to listen at that moment, and how that crazy wind that had been blowing all evening had completely stopped. I sang the song for Christeen that I had sung to Mom. The feelings that I lacked at the time as I sang it for Mom finally came to me. I like when I can believe things AND feel them at the same time. It doesn't always happen this way.
I thought of some new lines I would like to add to that beautiful song;
Here comes Jesus
He's a riding on that wild wind
He's scooping you up
and taking you home.
Here comes Jesus
He knows you love that kind of wind
And now you're home
We love you Momma
Now you're Home and Whole
So wait and watch over us
We'll see you soon.
http://www.hymnary.org/hymn/HHOF1980/155
